Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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