I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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