I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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