So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Acid is not a monday night drug
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize