I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
