so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
