So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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