can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?