Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?