I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.