HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
