On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Drunk is not a location!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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