Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize