nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
