4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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