guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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