Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
