I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
