Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
smell my finger.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
