Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
