You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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