I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
