the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
