hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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