i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize