Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
