Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she pinky promised me she was 18
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize