Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Operation Purity has been aborted
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
