The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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