Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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