Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
