Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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