piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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