I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
