hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize