I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize