Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
