btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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