We named our party play list daddy issues
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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