Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
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Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
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CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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