shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
