Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize