Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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