i just wanna soil my oats bro
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is