So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now