I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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