I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
