anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
