I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
