singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
