Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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