The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize