The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
