I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
