yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
