He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
