well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
