Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
