I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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