you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
