Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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