If that was your dad, he is hot
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Vodka?
Forever.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
