Fine. I'll sleep in my office
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
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hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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